This was fun to write, though it has to be said my editors chose to remove some of the bits I thought were funniest so it has slightly more of an earnest tone than when I wrote it.
You’re allowed five grabs on iTunes, Microsoft; use four of them to show people doing inspiring things with your software, and you can use one to reassure people that it can still do all the dull stuff too. Even if that one page is just a blank Word document with ‘Oh, yeah, and it can do, I dunno, like, PivotTables and all that other crap you actually need for your job’ set in 36-point Calibri.